Yearning

The wind blows hard against my cheek
It dries my tears that dare not fall, dare not, not now
I feel the comfort of the night coming to me like a lover
Darkness falls upon me like a blanket to sooth my pain

I can’t fight anymore, I can’t be strong, I can’t live
I hold onto the very last shred of dignity that I posses
I pull myself together to make it one more day, I can’t.

I collapse, I sob, I dissolve into the rain soaked earth
My body is limp, my hair is wet, my will is gone
I open my eyes to feel the new drops of rain on my bare legs
I curl my body against this new invasion and to my sorrow

The rain starts to pour and stings my flesh until it’s numb
I grip the drenched grass blades saturated with rain and tears
I want to disappear, I want to melt away, I want to die
My hands shake and my body stiffens from this onslaught of fear

My fingers find the earth and dig deeper as if to feel steady
My mind is drifting, my heart is slowing, I feel a peace cover me
I slip into oblivion, I feel weightless and free, I fly away
I dream of family, I dream of home, I dream of life, I dream of love

My life is slipping away, I can’t hold on, I dream of my death
I hear hoof beats in the distance, I know not of where they come
The sounds grow louder, and louder, and louder. They stop.
I feel my body being pulled and torn from the earth

I hear frantic voices, I feel myself being lifted and held tight
The voice is familiar, I can not recall the place or the time
The sun shines through the windows and onto my dry warm flesh
My eyes open slowly and see the familiar surrounding, I weep

I shed tears upon tears, I was so close, I was almost free
I can still see his hands reaching to me beyond life and death
He’s still there beyond my reach, beyond my dreams and my heart
I hold onto the hope, we will be together soon, the love will bring me to him

My eyes close once again, I dream, he’s there my heart, my life, my love
Death catches me unaware, I am standing alone on the shore where my love was lost
I look to the earth, there is a small stone with my name carved, where I had cried.
Flowers grow where my tears had once fallen with the rain.

My body lays beneath the place my love had fallen and I had grieved.
I look to the sky as the sun baths me in warmth that touches my very soul.
The white dress I wear puddles around my feet. I lift my skirt to run.
My joy is boundless, I feel alive, I feel free, I feel love.

He’s here, I can feel him, I turn and he’s there, his eyes are pooling with tears
I shake my head, there should be no tears here, there should be no sorrow, only love.
I feel wetness on my cheek, I look up and see the clouds rolling in, I scream
I run to him and he vanishes, again I collapse, I weep, I yell, I wake again, home.

Copyright ©2003 Sarah Marie Akre